Last night I had the privilege of attending the Republican Gubernatorial Debate at FMU here in Florence, SC. I am sure there are many bloggers who will write about the details of the debate and comment on who they feel won. Instead I shall do what I do best... tell a funny story.... (Who said politics had to be boring?)
As I stand here, in a dressing room in JCPenney (only the best for me), staring at my reflection in the mirror, I begin to feel the excitement. I will be attending my first political debate tomorrow night. And not just any debate. A gubernatorial debate nonetheless! And I am a man on a mission! If you have seen my Facebook profile, you may have noticed that regardless of how many Republican events I have been to over the last few months, I have VERY few pictures of myself with any candidates. Why you ask? While I may be cute (some would say hot), I am NOT very photogenic. When I get in front of a camera I turn in to Screech from Saved by the Bell. And that's NOT a good thing. Zach Morris maybe.. But not Screech! Come hell or high water, I plan on getting my picture taken with my candidate of choice at the debate, Andre Bauer!! 24 hours and counting..... Will I make it happen? Will I get nervous and run the other way? Will Bret Michaels replace Simon on American Idol?
The day of the debate has arrived and as I am getting ready, I begin to practice my posing in the mirror (Don't laugh. You know you do it too!). Scratching my head.. Trying to remember something... What does Tyra always say on America's Next Top Model? Oh yeah! Model H2T (head to toe) and SMIZE (smile with the eyes). After doing that for awhile in the mirror, I realized something.... I'm a dork. A big fat dork. If there were such a place as Dorkville, I would be elected mayor! So I quit practicing and decided, what the heck, I'll wing it when the time comes (I figured I can always rely on my natural ability to be irresistibly adorable at the drop of a hat). I do one final mirror check, spray enough cologne on myself to start a small brush fire, and off I go to begin my adventure.
I arrive early so I can get up with Matt Robinson (aka: Andre's right hand man) and get my ticket for the debate. Let me tell you a little bit about Mr. Matt. He should teach a class on how to deal with campaign volunteers. In the past several months I have met many paid political staffers and some have been nice, some not so nice, and some just down right nasty. Matt falls in to a category all his own. He has the energy of a 5 y/o, the personality of a rock star, and the cool swagger of a player . His easygoing nature and laid back style draw people in and his honest approach and his appreciation of those who volunteer are what make him a rare commodity in the political world.... A nice guy.
Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, I'm here and ready for the debate! Here's a quick rundown... There were some good answers and some great answers and some obvious answers, but all in all, the candidates performed as I had expected. Gresham Barrett was witty and like able, Henry McMaster was, as always, the quintessential southern gentleman, Nikki Haley tried hard to avoid answering any tough questions about the scandal surrounding her (she even left right after while the other candidates stayed to greet voters) and Andre Bauer was, of course, da man! Direct, concise, straight-forward and honest. An honest politician, you ask? (waits for the gasps from the crowd) Yes, my friends, they do exist albeit they are a rare breed. You may go a lifetime without spotting one, but if you attended the debate last night or watched it on television, you saw one... in Andre Bauer.
Once the debate was over, my good friend Renee Woodberry ( a tall buxom blonde with an appetite for life) grabbed me by the arm and down the stairs we flew towards the candidates like two twisters headed for a small town in Oklahoma (Watch out!). I saw Gresham Barrett (who is WAY taller than he looks on TV), Henry McMaster (who always reminds me of Rhett Butler), and Andre (who looks a lot younger in person). Now I will say this about Renee. She is VERY photogenic and has mastered the art of taking pictures with candidates. She can flash those pearly whites and flip that hair with the best of 'em. So if anyone could get my picture with Andre, it would be the great Renee (bows down to her awesomeness). As I stood in the line with everyone else, waiting... and waiting... and waiting... My nerves a wreck, beads of sweat creeping up on my brow (we're talkin' Whitney Houston flop sweat), and the building excitement within me at the thought of being able to shake the hand of the man who is going to be the next governor of South Carolina. It was my turn. What do I do? Smile? Look serious? Say something witty? I was going to tell Andre a joke I had just heard, "Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?.... He was looking for Pooh.." (Ok, you.. in the back row.. I see you laughing!!!) BUT I figured that may not be the most appropriate thing to do. Before I knew it, Renee said smile and somehow I was standing next to Mr. Bauer. I didn't have time to smile so I did my serious face (doing it now, wish you could see). And poof. Just as it had begun, it was over, literally, in a flash. After the blindness from the flash dissipated and I could once again see, I turned to walk away when I realized I still had my arm around Andre. I regained my composure and returned my arms to my side and off I went back into the jungle (I mean crowd). Andre then smiled and walked away from the crazy guy in khaki.
All in all, I had a great time at my first debate and it's certainly something I will always remember. Just makes you realize how larger than life these candidates are. I can only hope that one day people will look at me the way people looked at these candidates last night. With respect, admiration, and above all.... hope.
PS: Special shout out and thanks to a few members of Team Andre who are exceptionally nice. (I don't typically remember last names so I had to improvise)
Robert (More energy than the Energizer Bunny)
Mark (Super Tall guy in Andre Polo)
John (Guy who dances on top of RVs)
VOTE FOR ANDRE on June 8th!
No comments:
Post a Comment