Sex and Money

As Janet slowly unbuttoned her silk blouse, her ample bosom heaving with intense passion, Mark's throbbing..... Ok, I know you must be thinking, what in the heck am I reading?? And why is Mark throbbing?? Isn't there a pill for that?? Well, my friends, in the world of South Carolina politics, it seems as though some politicians are more and more resembling cheesy characters out of a 99 cent romance novel, rather than serious political figures. Which brings me to ask myself, "When do we know we have gone too far and can we get back to where we need to be?" Let's explore this...

Do you ever get that feeling late at night, when you are in bed alone, that someone is watching you through the window? You get up, slowly walking towards the door to make your escape and as you turn around to take one last glance back, you swear you see a dark figure dashing across the room.... That's how I, and many others, feel these days as we circumnavigate the South Carolina political arena. Who can I trust? Are people who they say they are? Why is this person being so nice to me when I don't even know them? These are questions we must ask ourselves daily if we intend to survive and live to see another day. It's survival of the fittest out there, my friends. And we must arm ourselves with the proper weaponry and educate ourselves in the ways of the world. Career politicians as well as career political staffers confuse me. And amuse me. And sometimes, make me nauseous... So who are these cast of characters????

As I attend different political events, I survey the crowd and what do I see? Not men, or women, or children... I see characters. People, in general, are their own characters. They have a back story, motives of their own, and above all, each and every person has something that makes them unique. There are some characters which repeat themselves. For example, at every political event, you will see the eager young lad who will work 'till his knuckles bleed and his shirt is dripping with sweat in the hopes that someone will notice and give him his big break (He secretly wants to be you and the first chance he gets, there goes the knife in your back...). The young attractive blond who spent two hours on her makeup and is wearing a dress just low enough to give those southern gentlemen a preview of the coming attractions (The ticket price varies). The perfectly coiffed politician who is eyeing the young interns, licking his chops like a lion stalking it's prey (Put that thing away, no one is impressed). And we must not forget about the one, over there, standing in the corner. The person who is plotting their next move, next scandal, next story of an affair. This person, this shadowy figure, is deciding who will make it through to November and who will not... Their name? Who knows? And, do we really want to know? Probably best not to know... Which brings me now to sex.. and money...

I recently heard someone say that there are those who enter the political world for two reasons, Sex and Money. While I will be the first to admit that power does, somehow, make a person sexually appealing, even if their physical appearance is mediocre. But as much as we want to run up to certain people and dry hump them (to my surprise, some people don't like you doing this), we must remember why we are here and why we are doing what we are doing. It's simple. We love our state. We love our party. And we want to see South Carolina become a shining beacon of hope and inspiration for the rest of the country. Therefore, we must check our hormones at the door. Hard to do I know (no pun intended), but we must muster the strength and push forward. Now, as far as money, I'll say this... Money. Good. No Money. Bad. But, why on Earth must there always be those opportunists who sneak into every organization trying to rifle through the pockets of the wealthy? Unless your name is Robin Hood, please take your hand out of Andre's pocket and for the love of Paula Abdul, give Gresham his gold watch back. My point, my friends, is this. While sex and money can make you happy (money more so for me), let's keep our eyes on the prize. The prize being huge wins for us, The Republican Party, in November. We need to take our state back, and if we focus on the real issues at hand, we WILL win in November.



In the words of the incomparable John Barrymore, "Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble." And in the words of Mohandas Gandhi, "There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed."

So, my friends, keep this mind... as you travel through the rough seas of the South Carolina political world and encounter those mysterious figures... Friend Today, Foe Tomorrow...

You've been warned....