Have a little faith

Normally I talk of politics but today I'd like to talk about something a little different. This morning I went to church for the first time in a very, very long time. As I was sitting there, watching all the people and listening to the music and praise, I felt as if I had been let it on a little secret. Read on to find out what...

Life is hard. I am sure many of you reading this now would agree. We as mortal beings go through many ups and downs and through it all, some of us have strong support systems while others of us are left to brave the cold, harsh world alone. The world can be cruel. People can be worse. To think one can go it alone is to have the mindset of a fool. We all need help. I for one have always felt it best to rely on no one but myself for moral support, emotional comfort, and love. To not lean on your fellow man means never having to be disappointed or let down or hurt. Opening up to those around you also opens you up to those weaknesses which we try all too often to hide. Hurt, pain, sadness, and despair. Loneliness is a suit of armor I have worn and worn proudly my whole life. To be alone for me has meant safety. Security. Recently, though, I found out that even the toughest of soldiers with the best shields are useless if trying to fight the world alone. Which brings me to this morning. 

I decided that, even if just for an hour, it would be interesting to see what the world looks like through the eyes of faith. And prayer. The interior of the church itself was breathtaking. The light coming through the windows looked as if God had personally lit the room so we may focus on him and him alone. Everyone in the room seemed to be at ease. At peace. Just something about being in a place of worship strips people of their worries, their problems and their pain. They, if even for a brief moment in time, feel... safe. Safe from the outside world. In here, we are protected. But instead of protective gear, we had the Bible and a Pastor and each other. And above all, God. As I looked around the room I saw, in the eyes of the congregation, hope. It's amazing how one can go from hopelessness to optimism in a matter of moments simply by letting go and allowing yourself to be part of something so much bigger than yourself. It seemed as though it was over before it began. As I left I turned around to take one last look at the interior and this time I saw more than just the sunlight. I saw God. Here's the little secret I wanted let you all in on. When I left through those doors and got in my car, God was still with me. And there you go. No matter how much or how often you think you are alone or lonely, you aren't. God is with all of us. In the car, at work, when we are having the best times in our lives and when we feel like giving up. 

To sum things up, I will never be one who opens up easily. I am an eternal loner. But after today I realize that even if I am sitting in my room alone or driving around aimlessly trying to get lost for no reason, I am not alone. I have a purpose. What that purpose is has yet to be revealed to me. But I did feel today that there is someone out there, watching over me, watching out for me, and above all, gave me the tools and skills necessary to make it in this life. And make it I will. This is my time. This is our time. Let's not waste it. The time is now...

Snapshot, Don't Take my Picture

It's been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I tend to disagree. To me, a picture represents a wasted memory. A time spent trying to capture a moment on film rather than enjoying the moment itself.

Growing up an only child and raised by a single parent, my mother and I had the luxury of simply picking up and moving whenever the mood struck. For this we were labeled "Gypsies". From hopping on a train, plane, or automobile, we tended to never stay in one place for too long. Because of this I grew up realizing that I always had to take a minimalistic approach to life. Which meant not hanging on to an exorbitant amount of "stuff". Everything I owned growing up could easily fit in one suitcase and one box.We traveled light and traveled often. I sometimes asked my mother why we didn't have all the "normal things" other families had such as family heirlooms, photo albums and keepsakes. Her answer was always the same. She simply stated that we pass through life so briefly that we need to create memories as we travel down the road of existence and not be bogged down by trying to capture the present or hang on to the past. As a child, instead of sitting down with my mother and flipping through old family photos, she would regale me with fascinating tales of her childhood and of my grandmother and the rest of the family. We would laugh, cry and at the end of the night, I always came away with a sense that I was there. With my mom when she was 5 y/o and tried to kiss a boy for the first time and instead sat on a bee in front of the boy and ran around the schoolyard holding her bottom. Or the times my grandmother would rock me to sleep when I was baby. By hearing these stories I didn't need a photo to look at, instead I could close my eyes and, as I listened to mother, I could see it all happening as if it were happening at that very moment.

If you were to look at the bottom of my closet today or under my bed, you won't find any pictures. Nor will you find any photo albums. But if you could look into my heart or see into my soul, there you will find a treasure chest full of memories of days gone by, people who have been loved and lost, and you'll see me. The 5 y/o little boy going to the Zoo for the first time in San Diego and the young man that I am today. So next time you are inclined to ask me to take a picture, stop for a moment. Instead, walk with me, talk with me, and above all, let's create a memory together that will never fade and that will stand the test of time.