I'm sitting in my room, alone. And I start to think to myself. Whenever I feel lonely, tired, depressed, stressed or angry.. Who do I turn to? Which of my friends do I lean on? I finally figured that answer out. My words are my best friends. I can always trust that with them, I can be myself, express myself, and let it all out. Without judgement, without fear. In my life, I have used words to protect myself, defend myself, and, on a few occasions, express my anger.
This got me thinking how powerful words are. They can start a riot or silence a war. They can build people up and tear down barriers. And then I realized that I hold that power, within me. Like my grandmother, who passed away several years ago, I was born with a gift. A gift to affect people with the stroke a pen, or in my case, the stroke of a keyboard. In my recent blog entries I have been a story teller. A witty little man who makes people laugh by turning ordinary events into something over the top and hilarious. But I wanted to take a moment to get serious with you all and let you know why I do what I do. I write because, for me, it's my way to get close to people. I am not the most confident person and I am certainly not the life of a party. I am a simple man. Nothing special. No fancy getaways or clothes. I shop at Wal-Mart and drive a Hyundai and a luxury to me is getting a Combo meal at Zaxby's. But something I do have, that no one else has, is my ability to take the sum of all my life experiences and use those emotions to put down, in writing, words that can make people smile, make people laugh, and maybe even, quietly shed a tear. I can use my words to empower and to enlighten. To share my point of view with the world and to, on occasion, rant.
This year I plan on harnessing this power to help the greater good. Help bring to light the plight that is facing America and, through my words, help give those candidates I feel strongly about, a platform from which to proudly stand. To me these candidates, Andre Bauer, Bill Connor, and Brad Richardson, aren't just men in suits, they are what I hope to be one day. They give me hope, inspiration and listening to them always makes me smile on the inside. If I can only be half the man they are one day, I will be doing pretty good for myself. These candidates, these men, are not just ordinary men. When you are a person who can stand in front of a crowd and make that person way in the back feel as if you are talking to them and only them, you have moved past being just a man. You are are the carrier of the torch. The torch that will bring light once again to these dark days we are facing in this nation. I hope these candidates, when they are sitting alone with their thoughts, realize how much power they hold. When you have the people, you have the world in your hands. Use this power wisely as I will use mine wisely. Together we can change things, one person.... and one word, at a time.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Gone With The Wind.. Literally....
The following is an account of actual events. The persons involved were in serious danger the entire time. Please do not try this at home...
Once in a blue moon, you do something so dangerous, so death defying, and yet... you live to tell about it. Today, my friends, was one of those days. The day started out seemingly normal enough. Slept in, did some grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, and had a really good Bacon Cheeseburger at Hardee's (no, the Cheeseburger was not the dangerous part of the day). As I left Hardee's, I could see in the distance the clouds rolling in. They were charging straight ahead, chasing away what semblance of sunshine was left. I hung my head in disbelief. Why, oh why, must every day I have off from work resemble the movie "Twister" or "2012" with all the inclement weather? Oh Lord, I know I shouldn't have told that woman in Wal-Mart her baby sort of resembled Richard Nixon, but deep down, I didn't mean it! (Ok, maybe I meant it just a little..) So, putting aside the fact that the universe is obviously upset with me, I decided to brave the cold and the rain and the winds to go and do something that any good, dedicated volunteer would do.... I went to fix an Andre Bauer sign that had fallen down out by the airport. Now, ladies and gents, whether the sign fell down on it's own or whether it is the center of some government conspiracy reaching to the highest levels of power, remains to be seen.... (Where are Mulder and Scully when you need them??) I decided to go home and gather some tools...
While at home, I looked for my tool chest. Hmm, where is that thing? I know I put it somewhere? Oh wait.... I don't have a tool chest... So I decided to look for the tools I needed in the next best place. The kitchen junk drawer. You know that drawer in your kitchen that is like the island of lost souls? It's the place that anything and everything that doesn't find a home elsewhere in your house, ends up. I rummaged through the tape, scissors, pens, seven remote controls, dead batteries, and blue blazers ( I am trying to rid the world of them..). YES!! I found a hammer! I also grabbed a hole puncher, a screwdriver, and some cable ties. I packed up my tools in my little Hyundai and off I went to save the world (or in this case, Andre's sign).
As I was driving down the street, I could feel it. I was approaching the scene of this terrible tragedy. It sent a shiver down my spine. The thought of that poor sign, just lying there, getting pummeled by the rain and wind... I could barely stomach it. "Hold on Andre sign, I am a comin' to save you!" As I stepped out of the car, my feet sunk deep into the muddy ground. I walked over to the sign. There it was. Looking so helpless and sad. Like a little kitten who's lost, miles from home. A wiped away a tear, and got out my tools. Upon closer inspection, the damage was worse than I anticipated. The cable ties were broke and the holes in the sign used to attach the cable ties were in bad shape. And the posts that were once "in" the ground, now lay helplessly "on" the ground. Hmm, where to begin? I first dragged it over (a miraculous feat in and of itself) to a huge bush and leaned it up against the behemoth. I pulled out the hole puncher and made new holes. I attached the new cable ties and voila! The sign was once again attached to the metal posts. That was one thing down. But, wait, how in the heck do I get this thing in the ground? Even though the ground was slightly wet, it was still too hard to try and push the posts down far enough that it would be stable. I got out my trusty hammer. I looked at it and thought, hmmm, how do I use this thing? Which end do I hold? Where's the on button? Finally I figured it out. (Thanks to all those years of watching This Old House) All the while, the wind was blowing me from side to side and the rain, which by now was more than just a drizzle, was hitting me like tiny little bricks. At one point, I got blown across the street and landed on the airport runway. I decided, while I was there, to taxi in some planes. Just as I was helping a Cessna 152 up to the terminal, I was lifted off the ground once again and placed gently back over at the sign. Ahh, let's try to hammer this thing back in the ground. I hammered and hammered and hammered.... The posts should be halfway to China by now!!! I bent down to look. What?!? I didn't even make a dent in the ground! I tried once more and still the same. What's wrong, I thought to myself. I inspected the ground and decided it was too hard for a simple hammer. In order for this thing to not fall down again, it needed to be DEEP in the ground. Something I could not accomplish with my simple tools. So I accepted defeat, shook my fists at the sky in frustration, and decided that I could at least place the sign somewhere it would be visible until I could return with an army. I dragged it over, closer to the street, and wedged it in between a tree's branches. This should hold for now. At least people can see it and that's what matters most anyway. I turned around to take one final look at the sign that had beat me. The clouds parted and for a brief moment the sun came out and blinded me. I turned away, shielding my eyes, and when I turned back to the sign, it seemed to say, "Thanks for trying. You did your best". Of course after I turned my back to it, that darn sign flipped me the bird. What the?!? I got back in my Hyundai and off I went. But don't worry, I shall return to save this sign. Next time, though, it will be with an army of, 10,000 men, that will rally behind me to get the job done.
As I pulled into my driveway, I got out my car, knocked the mud off my shoes, and went inside, looking forward to my next adventure. Whatever that may be....
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The Sneak n' Giggle
Let me preface this by saying, one thing you will see as a general theme in my posts is what it's like to be involved in the world of politics but as an outsider looking in. And trust me, when you look closely, the political world is full of material worthy of a sitcom! So sit back, grab a coke, a smoke (that stuff will ya) and get ready to take another ride with me as I navigate the great sea that is South Carolina Politics.
My new BFF, Matt Robinson, called me yesterday and asked me if I would attend a political fundraising event here in Florence and man a campaign table for Andre Bauer. I thought to myself, how perfect is this. I was made to man a campaign table. I am young, incredibly good looking (My mom said I am, so there!) and I am well spoken. Without hesitation, I said yes. I started thinking to myself.. Today I am manning a campaign table and tomorrow... well who knows what the future holds for me. Anything is possible..... So I decided to go through my usual ritual whenever I attend any type of event. First things first. Plan my wardrobe. When you are representing the next Governor of South Carolina, you gotta look your best ( I mean have you seen Andre's posse? They look like they stepped out of Political Vogue, if there were such a thing). So I went to my closet, pushed aside the week old pizza and midget wearing speedos (Don't worry, he has a good life) and looked through my endless wardrobe of khakis, vests, and polos. Nope... that won't do..... neither will that..... where did that come from?!? Uggg. Dozens of clothes and yet, nothing to wear. So I decided to pull out all the stops and go shopping at my favorite store for a new outfit.
I got in my trusty Hyundai ( the one with all the political bumper stickers) and headed to the most high end, affluent, and exclusive store in Florence.... Wal-Mart. But not just any Wal-Mart. SUPER Wal-Mart. That's right folks. When it comes to looking my best, I spare no expense. I picked out a new shirt and vest that made me look sophisticated, yet still young and cute enough to attract all those potential voters to my table. Sometimes I think to myself... Self.. Is it fair to the world that I was born with talent, skills, brains, and good looks? Seems almost.. Greedy. But oh well. It's a burden I must carry with me... So, I went, got in a checkout line, and waited and waited.... watched a couple of kids grow up before my very eyes, seasons changed and I grew a beard. So after I finally paid for my stuff, both me and my beard headed home. I handed over my shiny new items to my mother to iron for me. The last time I tried to iron anything, somehow I ended up with one eyebrow and a hairless cat. And I don't even own a cat.... So best to leave the ironing up to the experts. Then my night consisted of watching America's Next Top Model and eating cheesecake. Wal-Mart cheesecake nonetheless. mmmmm. Two thumbs up. Off to bed I went to dream about Cheesecake eating models...
Today, leading up to the event was fairly uneventful. Other than the fact that I had a really good hair day, today. Don't ya just love when your hair does just what you want it to? I mean, that's even better than sex, or so I've heard... So on my new clothes went and after doing a final mirror check, out the door I went. I arrived early and decided to go in and set up my table. As I looked around at the other volunteers standing proudly at their tables, I felt like I was a member of an exclusive club. A club where people, young and old, rich and poor, decide to get off the couch and get out and support the candidates they feel can bring about positive change. Being a volunteer isn't just something you do, it's something you are. You are literally the most important person within a campaign. Because a candidate alone can't accomplish anything without the unwavering support of their dedicated volunteers. Writing a check to give a donation is easy, but donating your time, energy, and skills is something you can't put a price on. As I stood there, ready to hand out t-shirts and bumper stickers, the cast of characters started to trickle in the room....
First, there was this one young man, let's call him Chuck, who I observed carrying out a technique that I feel my readers would love to hear about and possibly learn how to do themselves. It's called.... the Sneak n' Giggle. Here's what you do. You stand in the corner of the room and survey the crowd. You spot a group of important looking people and you make your move. Like a cheetah you creep up on your unsuspecting prey. Swift and silent you move through the room navigating through tables, chairs, and the occasional amateur photographer trying to take your picture. NO, you say to having your picture taken. You are a man on a mission and nothing and no one will stop you. You get closer and closer to this group of movers and shakers. Suddenly you find yourself right inside this group. This is the "Sneak" part of the technique. The next part is the giggle. As soon as everyone else begins to laugh, so do you. But you must laugh hard and loud enough so people notice you. At first they may think, who is this crazy hyena and how did he get in? But then, being the courteous gentlemen they are, they let you stay. You have been accepted into the pack. Be careful though.... One wrong move and they will go for your jugular and you will never be heard from again..... (Check back soon as I will be offering instructional DVD's starring myself)
The rest of the evening went by quickly and I shook my fair share of hands. Even the man himself, Andre Bauer, came over and shook my hand and thanked me for being there (For those of you wondering, he has a very firm handshake. I had to ice my hand afterwards...) My BFF, Matt (Matt doesn't know yet he is my new BFF, but in my head he is....) was telling me about how he had to drive Andre's bus to this event. So for those of you who thought you saw a big blue bus flying down the interstate going down the wrong side and swaying back and forth and men in suits were hanging out the windows yelling, "Help me, Save Me, OMG please make this stop" then you probably had the privilege of seeing Andre's bus en route to Florence...
I packed up my tshirts and stickers and went out to Cici's to eat with Brad Richardson (the next Mayor of Johnsonville) and Jamie Rogers (the future first female president). For $3.99, you can't beat that! So this brings to an end another exciting stop in my journey along the South Carolina political highway. Let me leave you, my friends, with this sentiment... Never arm wrestle Andre Bauer.. He is literally, the Strong Arm of Politics.
PS: Did you know there is such a thing as Midget Professional Wrestling? And the wrestlers have names like Fuzzy Cupid, Short Sleeve Sampson, and Little Beaver.... Why have I not heard of this before and where do I get tickets? I tried asking a member of the Lollipop Guild (he lives behind the dumpster down at the BP Station in case you wanna get an autograph) but he said he didn't know, even after I let him sit on my lap. (Don't judge me.)
My new BFF, Matt Robinson, called me yesterday and asked me if I would attend a political fundraising event here in Florence and man a campaign table for Andre Bauer. I thought to myself, how perfect is this. I was made to man a campaign table. I am young, incredibly good looking (My mom said I am, so there!) and I am well spoken. Without hesitation, I said yes. I started thinking to myself.. Today I am manning a campaign table and tomorrow... well who knows what the future holds for me. Anything is possible..... So I decided to go through my usual ritual whenever I attend any type of event. First things first. Plan my wardrobe. When you are representing the next Governor of South Carolina, you gotta look your best ( I mean have you seen Andre's posse? They look like they stepped out of Political Vogue, if there were such a thing). So I went to my closet, pushed aside the week old pizza and midget wearing speedos (Don't worry, he has a good life) and looked through my endless wardrobe of khakis, vests, and polos. Nope... that won't do..... neither will that..... where did that come from?!? Uggg. Dozens of clothes and yet, nothing to wear. So I decided to pull out all the stops and go shopping at my favorite store for a new outfit.
I got in my trusty Hyundai ( the one with all the political bumper stickers) and headed to the most high end, affluent, and exclusive store in Florence.... Wal-Mart. But not just any Wal-Mart. SUPER Wal-Mart. That's right folks. When it comes to looking my best, I spare no expense. I picked out a new shirt and vest that made me look sophisticated, yet still young and cute enough to attract all those potential voters to my table. Sometimes I think to myself... Self.. Is it fair to the world that I was born with talent, skills, brains, and good looks? Seems almost.. Greedy. But oh well. It's a burden I must carry with me... So, I went, got in a checkout line, and waited and waited.... watched a couple of kids grow up before my very eyes, seasons changed and I grew a beard. So after I finally paid for my stuff, both me and my beard headed home. I handed over my shiny new items to my mother to iron for me. The last time I tried to iron anything, somehow I ended up with one eyebrow and a hairless cat. And I don't even own a cat.... So best to leave the ironing up to the experts. Then my night consisted of watching America's Next Top Model and eating cheesecake. Wal-Mart cheesecake nonetheless. mmmmm. Two thumbs up. Off to bed I went to dream about Cheesecake eating models...
Today, leading up to the event was fairly uneventful. Other than the fact that I had a really good hair day, today. Don't ya just love when your hair does just what you want it to? I mean, that's even better than sex, or so I've heard... So on my new clothes went and after doing a final mirror check, out the door I went. I arrived early and decided to go in and set up my table. As I looked around at the other volunteers standing proudly at their tables, I felt like I was a member of an exclusive club. A club where people, young and old, rich and poor, decide to get off the couch and get out and support the candidates they feel can bring about positive change. Being a volunteer isn't just something you do, it's something you are. You are literally the most important person within a campaign. Because a candidate alone can't accomplish anything without the unwavering support of their dedicated volunteers. Writing a check to give a donation is easy, but donating your time, energy, and skills is something you can't put a price on. As I stood there, ready to hand out t-shirts and bumper stickers, the cast of characters started to trickle in the room....
First, there was this one young man, let's call him Chuck, who I observed carrying out a technique that I feel my readers would love to hear about and possibly learn how to do themselves. It's called.... the Sneak n' Giggle. Here's what you do. You stand in the corner of the room and survey the crowd. You spot a group of important looking people and you make your move. Like a cheetah you creep up on your unsuspecting prey. Swift and silent you move through the room navigating through tables, chairs, and the occasional amateur photographer trying to take your picture. NO, you say to having your picture taken. You are a man on a mission and nothing and no one will stop you. You get closer and closer to this group of movers and shakers. Suddenly you find yourself right inside this group. This is the "Sneak" part of the technique. The next part is the giggle. As soon as everyone else begins to laugh, so do you. But you must laugh hard and loud enough so people notice you. At first they may think, who is this crazy hyena and how did he get in? But then, being the courteous gentlemen they are, they let you stay. You have been accepted into the pack. Be careful though.... One wrong move and they will go for your jugular and you will never be heard from again..... (Check back soon as I will be offering instructional DVD's starring myself)
The rest of the evening went by quickly and I shook my fair share of hands. Even the man himself, Andre Bauer, came over and shook my hand and thanked me for being there (For those of you wondering, he has a very firm handshake. I had to ice my hand afterwards...) My BFF, Matt (Matt doesn't know yet he is my new BFF, but in my head he is....) was telling me about how he had to drive Andre's bus to this event. So for those of you who thought you saw a big blue bus flying down the interstate going down the wrong side and swaying back and forth and men in suits were hanging out the windows yelling, "Help me, Save Me, OMG please make this stop" then you probably had the privilege of seeing Andre's bus en route to Florence...
I packed up my tshirts and stickers and went out to Cici's to eat with Brad Richardson (the next Mayor of Johnsonville) and Jamie Rogers (the future first female president). For $3.99, you can't beat that! So this brings to an end another exciting stop in my journey along the South Carolina political highway. Let me leave you, my friends, with this sentiment... Never arm wrestle Andre Bauer.. He is literally, the Strong Arm of Politics.
PS: Did you know there is such a thing as Midget Professional Wrestling? And the wrestlers have names like Fuzzy Cupid, Short Sleeve Sampson, and Little Beaver.... Why have I not heard of this before and where do I get tickets? I tried asking a member of the Lollipop Guild (he lives behind the dumpster down at the BP Station in case you wanna get an autograph) but he said he didn't know, even after I let him sit on my lap. (Don't judge me.)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Meeting the Man, the Myth, the Next Governor of South Carolina...
Let me first say, welcome to my new blog and thank you for reading my first blog entry!
I have been volunteering for Andre Bauer's campaign for a few months now. I have been a supporter of his for some time now, even before I began volunteering, and I must say, if I ever had any doubts about him, those doubts were silenced when I had the honor to meet Lt. Gov. Bauer during his 24 hour Announcement Tour. And the story goes....
It's just another Manic Monday.. I wish it were Sunday... Ah, my Monday morning was starting as usual. Get up, look in the mirror, scare myself, and then make breakfast. And by make breakfast, I mean put some cereal in a bowl. Milk is optional. I open my can of morning Pepsi (Pepsi is my coffee) and begin to check my email and Facebook. As I turn on my phone to check my messages, what is that I see? A text from the Political Mastermind himself, Matt Robinson. For those of you who do not know, Matt works for Andre Bauer's campaign and I can honestly say he is very passionate about his job and about his candidate. Anyway, I digress... A text? What did it say? It was Matt (aka Mastermind) asking me if I could pick Andre and his peeps (peeps=political posse) up at the Florence airport and take them to Francis Marion and back to the airport. My hands began to shake, sweat started to creep up on my brow.... Here I was already nervous about meeting Andre in person for the first time at his Florence event, but now I was going to be in the same car as him?!? Let me say this.. I am not the type of person who gets nervous about meeting anyone. I am confident enough in myself that I don't let people rattle me. But Andre Bauer is not only a candidate for Governor, he is THE candidate. He is a man I admire, respect, and look up to. So now that the question is posed, what do i do now?...... The saga continues....
A million thoughts began to run through my head. My car is too small, I haven't vacuumed it in weeks (possibly months), am I a good enough driver? So I decided to call my friend who works at the Florence airport and ask about their courtesy van. As he said it was available and that I could use it, I sighed a deep sigh of relief. That was one less worry. So I called Mr. Matt and told him I could do it. If any of you have ever had the pleasure of speaking to Matt Robinson on the phone, you know that he has so much energy on the phone he can instantly put you in a good, enthusiastic mood! Made me start to wonder something.... What would he be like in person?..... So I went on in to work still nervous and excited and hungry (I was so excited I didn't eat my cereal). As noon crept closer and closer, my cubicle became smaller and smaller (not that it was that big to begin with, but you get the point..) I decided to leave early that way I could get to the airport and gather my thoughts and regain my composure. As I pulled up to the terminal, it all became much more real... I started to ask myself... Where are my smelling salts when I need them? I think I am coming down with a case of the vapors....
I decided to check the van out beforehand to make sure it was gassed up and clean (What would be more embarrassing than for the future Governor to sit on an old candy wrapper or step on an open bag of Doritos?) Ok.. Gas.. Check. Half full... Clean... Check.. Smell ok? Ug, not so much. The van smelled of a cross between a thrift store and a homeless man (How do I know how a homeless man smells?... No comment...) I panicked..What do I do? I don't have time to get the van detailed... And unless Andre's posse wanted to sit on each other's laps, my car was out of the question. So I did the next best thing. I ran to my car, almost tripped, saw a squirrel run up a tree, and then I grabbed my bottle of Curve cologne out of my car. I ran back to the van (squirrel looking at me as if I was a crazy man) and proceeded to frantically spray the inside of the van with my cologne. I stepped back for a second and then I got in the van to smell. As I took a big whiff I thought, hmm, not bad. Now it smells like me if I lived in a thrift store. Oh well, it will have to do...
I decided to wait in the lobby so I could see the plane as it landed. I felt like I was in a movie. I kept looking around for James Cameron to yell, ACTION! So I stood at attention by my chariot (aka smelly van) and waited in anticipation for Andre's plane to appear. What is that I see? A bird? No... A weather balloon? No... A hallucination? Possibly... But no... It's Andre's King Air landing. No single engine for this man.. He is flying in style in a King Air. One of the greatest turboprops ever. And then the icing on the cake... As the door lowered, a member of the airport staff ran over and placed... get this.... a red carpet down for Andre and his people to step down on. I literally died. I thought, wow. I am in the big time now! So as his staffers got out one by one, I waited. Andre was on the phone so he stayed on the plane a little longer. Which made the suspense even worse. I was tapping my foot so hard I thought it was going to fall off! As his staffers entered the van, I decided to go ahead and hop in the driver's seat and start the van. Still no Andre. After I turned the key in the ignition, I turned around and there he was, out of nowhere. Andre Bauer...
Everything after that was a blur. He shook my hand and off we went. Andre and his staff were busy bees during the ride to FMU. Between their texting, phone calls, and radio interviews, I was able to catch a glimpse of what life is like for a candidate. Especially a candidate as busy as Andre Bauer! We arrived at Francis Marion and Andre and his staff went inside. I parked my trusty courtesy van and went inside. As I was entering the building, who was at the front door? None other than the Mastermind himself... Matt Robinson. Now I have been dealing with Matt a lot recently since I have been volunteering for Andre's campaign and I must say, it was an honor to finally meet the man himself. He was as I expected. Smartly dressed, upbeat, and full of energy. Andre did his thing inside, shaking hands, talking to voters and giving the people the opportunity to see what a gentleman he is and what a solid and viable candidate he is. Before I knew it, it was over. Time to take them back to the airport...
As I pulled the van up to the massive King Air, I felt both relieved and exhilarated. Relieved because the whole thing went smooth without any snags, and exhilarated because, for the past two hours, I was a part of something much bigger than myself. Here I am, someone who lives an average life, works a regular 9-5 job, and drives a Hyundai, and yet for a brief moment, I was part of Andre's world. A world where time flies and every moment is filled with important decision making and even more important personal interactions. As Andre and his staff shook my hand and one by one got in the plane, I was not only smiling on the outside, but on the inside too. Why? Because I just had the opportunity to see, up close, the future of South Carolina. Andre Bauer is not only a great man.... He is me... He is you... He is..... South Carolina. Thank you Andre and Matt for giving me that experience and I, like so many other South Carolinians, will be standing proud on election night when Andre wins and becomes the next Governor of South Carolina. And not only will I be smiling, so will South Carolina, for she will have someone in charge who will protect her and work tirelessly to ensure she has a bright and prosperous future!
I have been volunteering for Andre Bauer's campaign for a few months now. I have been a supporter of his for some time now, even before I began volunteering, and I must say, if I ever had any doubts about him, those doubts were silenced when I had the honor to meet Lt. Gov. Bauer during his 24 hour Announcement Tour. And the story goes....
It's just another Manic Monday.. I wish it were Sunday... Ah, my Monday morning was starting as usual. Get up, look in the mirror, scare myself, and then make breakfast. And by make breakfast, I mean put some cereal in a bowl. Milk is optional. I open my can of morning Pepsi (Pepsi is my coffee) and begin to check my email and Facebook. As I turn on my phone to check my messages, what is that I see? A text from the Political Mastermind himself, Matt Robinson. For those of you who do not know, Matt works for Andre Bauer's campaign and I can honestly say he is very passionate about his job and about his candidate. Anyway, I digress... A text? What did it say? It was Matt (aka Mastermind) asking me if I could pick Andre and his peeps (peeps=political posse) up at the Florence airport and take them to Francis Marion and back to the airport. My hands began to shake, sweat started to creep up on my brow.... Here I was already nervous about meeting Andre in person for the first time at his Florence event, but now I was going to be in the same car as him?!? Let me say this.. I am not the type of person who gets nervous about meeting anyone. I am confident enough in myself that I don't let people rattle me. But Andre Bauer is not only a candidate for Governor, he is THE candidate. He is a man I admire, respect, and look up to. So now that the question is posed, what do i do now?...... The saga continues....
A million thoughts began to run through my head. My car is too small, I haven't vacuumed it in weeks (possibly months), am I a good enough driver? So I decided to call my friend who works at the Florence airport and ask about their courtesy van. As he said it was available and that I could use it, I sighed a deep sigh of relief. That was one less worry. So I called Mr. Matt and told him I could do it. If any of you have ever had the pleasure of speaking to Matt Robinson on the phone, you know that he has so much energy on the phone he can instantly put you in a good, enthusiastic mood! Made me start to wonder something.... What would he be like in person?..... So I went on in to work still nervous and excited and hungry (I was so excited I didn't eat my cereal). As noon crept closer and closer, my cubicle became smaller and smaller (not that it was that big to begin with, but you get the point..) I decided to leave early that way I could get to the airport and gather my thoughts and regain my composure. As I pulled up to the terminal, it all became much more real... I started to ask myself... Where are my smelling salts when I need them? I think I am coming down with a case of the vapors....
I decided to check the van out beforehand to make sure it was gassed up and clean (What would be more embarrassing than for the future Governor to sit on an old candy wrapper or step on an open bag of Doritos?) Ok.. Gas.. Check. Half full... Clean... Check.. Smell ok? Ug, not so much. The van smelled of a cross between a thrift store and a homeless man (How do I know how a homeless man smells?... No comment...) I panicked..What do I do? I don't have time to get the van detailed... And unless Andre's posse wanted to sit on each other's laps, my car was out of the question. So I did the next best thing. I ran to my car, almost tripped, saw a squirrel run up a tree, and then I grabbed my bottle of Curve cologne out of my car. I ran back to the van (squirrel looking at me as if I was a crazy man) and proceeded to frantically spray the inside of the van with my cologne. I stepped back for a second and then I got in the van to smell. As I took a big whiff I thought, hmm, not bad. Now it smells like me if I lived in a thrift store. Oh well, it will have to do...
I decided to wait in the lobby so I could see the plane as it landed. I felt like I was in a movie. I kept looking around for James Cameron to yell, ACTION! So I stood at attention by my chariot (aka smelly van) and waited in anticipation for Andre's plane to appear. What is that I see? A bird? No... A weather balloon? No... A hallucination? Possibly... But no... It's Andre's King Air landing. No single engine for this man.. He is flying in style in a King Air. One of the greatest turboprops ever. And then the icing on the cake... As the door lowered, a member of the airport staff ran over and placed... get this.... a red carpet down for Andre and his people to step down on. I literally died. I thought, wow. I am in the big time now! So as his staffers got out one by one, I waited. Andre was on the phone so he stayed on the plane a little longer. Which made the suspense even worse. I was tapping my foot so hard I thought it was going to fall off! As his staffers entered the van, I decided to go ahead and hop in the driver's seat and start the van. Still no Andre. After I turned the key in the ignition, I turned around and there he was, out of nowhere. Andre Bauer...
Everything after that was a blur. He shook my hand and off we went. Andre and his staff were busy bees during the ride to FMU. Between their texting, phone calls, and radio interviews, I was able to catch a glimpse of what life is like for a candidate. Especially a candidate as busy as Andre Bauer! We arrived at Francis Marion and Andre and his staff went inside. I parked my trusty courtesy van and went inside. As I was entering the building, who was at the front door? None other than the Mastermind himself... Matt Robinson. Now I have been dealing with Matt a lot recently since I have been volunteering for Andre's campaign and I must say, it was an honor to finally meet the man himself. He was as I expected. Smartly dressed, upbeat, and full of energy. Andre did his thing inside, shaking hands, talking to voters and giving the people the opportunity to see what a gentleman he is and what a solid and viable candidate he is. Before I knew it, it was over. Time to take them back to the airport...
As I pulled the van up to the massive King Air, I felt both relieved and exhilarated. Relieved because the whole thing went smooth without any snags, and exhilarated because, for the past two hours, I was a part of something much bigger than myself. Here I am, someone who lives an average life, works a regular 9-5 job, and drives a Hyundai, and yet for a brief moment, I was part of Andre's world. A world where time flies and every moment is filled with important decision making and even more important personal interactions. As Andre and his staff shook my hand and one by one got in the plane, I was not only smiling on the outside, but on the inside too. Why? Because I just had the opportunity to see, up close, the future of South Carolina. Andre Bauer is not only a great man.... He is me... He is you... He is..... South Carolina. Thank you Andre and Matt for giving me that experience and I, like so many other South Carolinians, will be standing proud on election night when Andre wins and becomes the next Governor of South Carolina. And not only will I be smiling, so will South Carolina, for she will have someone in charge who will protect her and work tirelessly to ensure she has a bright and prosperous future!
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