The Myth of Love

As I was driving towards McLeod Fitness today with a check in hand ready to sign up and begin my transition from couch potato to ripped hottie, I began thinking about why people work out. Health? Sure. Energy? Of course. With the hope they may attract members of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on who you are)? Most definitely. It seems as though people will stop at nothing these days to track down love as if they were on some African big game hunting expedition and then to mount their prize on the wall for the world to see. And then I started thinking. What is love? Is it real? Or is it a myth created to sell more overpriced Hallmark cards on the eve of Valentine's Day, the lover's holiday? Or some elaborate hoax created by Hollywood to encourage people to spend $12 on a ticket to see George Clooney in yet another movie where he gets the girl in the end? Let's explore this...

As long as I can remember, when asked, "How come a handsome guy like yourself is single?", I have always replied without any hesitation. "Well, I don't believe in love nor do I believe in entwining myself with someone else in that way. I am now and forever will be a bachelor and that's the way I will leave this world one day." Cynical, huh? Well, from an early age I realized that, while keeping the company of certain people may be mildly enjoyable and even entertaining at times, at the end of the day, I wanted to spend the last few moments of twilight, alone. Just me and my thoughts. People will argue that humans are pack animals. Always searching for that perfect mate to procreate with and fight and die for. I argue the opposite. I feel that we are all solitary creatures marching along that great highway of life trying hard to end each day hopefully a little wiser and a little happier than we had begun it. And even though we may lust after certain people who pique our sexual interests and desires, we know we are only left to our own devices to survive. So how to I respond to people who say they have found their one true love? Well, here's my response. I have freakishly small feet. I still shop for shoes in the boy's department (and damn proud of it too) and it is so tough to find a shoe that marries the comfort of a slipper on a cold winter night with the practicality of a George Foreman grill. Well one day I found that perfect shoe at K-Mart. And better yet, they were on sale for $19.95. Like the eternal quest many take on, I had found my proverbial white knight, in the form of navy blue loafers, nonetheless. I wore them proudly practically everyday for months. I took care of them, I loved them. But alas, all good things must come to an end. One day when walking across the room, I felt a draft. Hmm, I thought. I don't recall leaving a window open. I kept walking. Ouch. Something stuck my left foot. I looked down only to find part of my beloved shoe on the other side of the room while the rest remained loyal on my foot. I cried into my pillow every night for a week. Love is a many splendid thing, so they say, and I loved my shoes. But like everything you love too  much and too often, it eventually gets sick of you, packs it's bags, and leaves you behind to pick up the pieces of your life. The moral of this story? True love is no more reliable than a pair of $19.95 K-Mart loafers.

I contend that people are not these complex, complicated walking masses of flesh that Dr. Phil will have you believe. People are transparent. They are easy to read and to figure out. Plain and simple. People search for "love" because that's what is drilled into the mind of every young boy and girl. From stories of Cinderella to Shrek, children are taught that in order to be happy, you have to have a soul mate. I think you can truly and honestly really really really really like someone, but love? No. Soul mate? Heck no. Here's why. How is it that you can "love" someone with the passion of Cleopatra longing for Mark Antony and yet with the flip of a coin or the spin of the wheel of life, you fall out of "love"? The answer is simple; you were never in love to begin with. You were in "like". 

It may seem as though I have a pessimistic view of the world and love. Some may say the reason is that I have never known love myself. It's true. I haven't. Nor do I plan to. I have my family, some really great friends who I would consider my family, and I have myself. I am my own best friend, my cheerleader, my motivator, and ultimately, I am the one who I can always count on. Just as the incomparable Garbo proclaimed in Queen Christina, "I shall die a bachelor", I too shall live and die.... a bachelor.