With all the stresses of every day life from bills to traffic to what to make for dinner we somehow, along the way, lose ourselves. On a recent visit to the beautiful city of Myrtle Beach I knew I had to see the ocean. The ocean signifies rebirth, renewal, and new beginnings. Standing there, basking in the glory of all the infinite possibilities the ocean brings with it with it's roaring thunder, I had an epiphany. I may have been standing there alone in that moment in time, but I am not alone. None of us are. Every person we meet and have met leaves an impression on us. We are but tiny vessels traveling briefly through time and space and we are doing so together. Our friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers. Our fates are all intertwined. We are all one. Friend and foe.
Reveling in the delight of the warm sun, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore as I walked along the beach on this steamy afternoon, I had a spiritual experience. Several years ago my grandmother died tragically and unexpectedly in a car accident. Not only were we close, but we were very much alike. Sometimes too much so. We had our moments of strife but we always realized the reason we didn't see eye to eye was for the simple fact we were one in the same. Both stubborn, bullheaded, outspoken, opinionated loud mouths who would stop at nothing to get what we want out of life. My grandmother had the power of the written word. Her lifelong dream was to become a well known published author. As with many people, her family came first and sadly, her dream never came to the forefront in her life. She left this mortal world leaving behind a family who loved her but she also left behind what so many leave. Their unrealized dreams. As the years pass by and I begin to get a little older and more preoccupied with the mundane that is everyday life, her memory at times, seems to fade. I know her, I love her, but, as much as it shames me to say it, I forget her. On this day that changed.
As I slowly turned my back to the ocean symphony, I looked towards the sky. The clouds formed shapes that captivated my imagination. They seemed to be there solely for my entertainment. They danced and shifted with the tide and I was in awe. As I turned to take one last glance at one of God's most awesome creations, I had an overwhelming sense of every emotion known to man. From sadness to joy, from heartache to heartbreak, I felt it all. I sat down and closed my eyes for only a few minutes. But those solitary moments felt like a lifetime. When I opened my eyes I knew I wasn't alone. My grandmother was with me. Somehow she knew at this moment, on this day, I needed her.
Even though no words were spoken, I could feel in my heart and down to my soul what she wanted me to know. With each step I take each and every day, part of her remains with me. Her tenacity, her drive, and her gift of writing. She wanted to remind me that, even though she has transcended this mortal world with a dream unfulfilled, I can pick up where she left off and realize that dream for her and for me. And then I came to the realization that throughout the years, I've let her down. Here I have been given such a blessing to have had her in my life and an even more important gift of what she has left with me. Her legacy, her talents, and ultimately.. her voice. As suddenly as all this began, it was over. The clouds once again overtook the sun and darkness fell hiding my tear stained face. What do I do now? What do any of us do when we realize those who have gone before us want only to see us be everything we can not only for ourselves but so they know that even if they didn't realize their dreams, their next generation did.
We all share the common thread of frustration that is delicately woven into our lives each and everyday. With frustration comes resentment. We resent the way things turned out, the house we live in, the car we drive and even, at times, the family we were given. But instead of focusing on the negative we need to focus on the positive. Our souls are like patchwork quilts made of pieces of all those who came before us. Extraordinary people who did extraordinary things and because of those people, we are who we are today. Let us not waste the gift of life we have been given. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "One has to pay dearly for immortality; one has to die several times while one is still alive." Each day we live inside a life we are unhappy with we die a little. Our spirit begins to crack. I for one intend to trade in that unhappiness for that ultimate goal we all should strive for. To live, love, and die as one remarkable human being. Then and only then shall we achieve true immortality.
Reveling in the delight of the warm sun, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore as I walked along the beach on this steamy afternoon, I had a spiritual experience. Several years ago my grandmother died tragically and unexpectedly in a car accident. Not only were we close, but we were very much alike. Sometimes too much so. We had our moments of strife but we always realized the reason we didn't see eye to eye was for the simple fact we were one in the same. Both stubborn, bullheaded, outspoken, opinionated loud mouths who would stop at nothing to get what we want out of life. My grandmother had the power of the written word. Her lifelong dream was to become a well known published author. As with many people, her family came first and sadly, her dream never came to the forefront in her life. She left this mortal world leaving behind a family who loved her but she also left behind what so many leave. Their unrealized dreams. As the years pass by and I begin to get a little older and more preoccupied with the mundane that is everyday life, her memory at times, seems to fade. I know her, I love her, but, as much as it shames me to say it, I forget her. On this day that changed.
As I slowly turned my back to the ocean symphony, I looked towards the sky. The clouds formed shapes that captivated my imagination. They seemed to be there solely for my entertainment. They danced and shifted with the tide and I was in awe. As I turned to take one last glance at one of God's most awesome creations, I had an overwhelming sense of every emotion known to man. From sadness to joy, from heartache to heartbreak, I felt it all. I sat down and closed my eyes for only a few minutes. But those solitary moments felt like a lifetime. When I opened my eyes I knew I wasn't alone. My grandmother was with me. Somehow she knew at this moment, on this day, I needed her.
Even though no words were spoken, I could feel in my heart and down to my soul what she wanted me to know. With each step I take each and every day, part of her remains with me. Her tenacity, her drive, and her gift of writing. She wanted to remind me that, even though she has transcended this mortal world with a dream unfulfilled, I can pick up where she left off and realize that dream for her and for me. And then I came to the realization that throughout the years, I've let her down. Here I have been given such a blessing to have had her in my life and an even more important gift of what she has left with me. Her legacy, her talents, and ultimately.. her voice. As suddenly as all this began, it was over. The clouds once again overtook the sun and darkness fell hiding my tear stained face. What do I do now? What do any of us do when we realize those who have gone before us want only to see us be everything we can not only for ourselves but so they know that even if they didn't realize their dreams, their next generation did.
We all share the common thread of frustration that is delicately woven into our lives each and everyday. With frustration comes resentment. We resent the way things turned out, the house we live in, the car we drive and even, at times, the family we were given. But instead of focusing on the negative we need to focus on the positive. Our souls are like patchwork quilts made of pieces of all those who came before us. Extraordinary people who did extraordinary things and because of those people, we are who we are today. Let us not waste the gift of life we have been given. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "One has to pay dearly for immortality; one has to die several times while one is still alive." Each day we live inside a life we are unhappy with we die a little. Our spirit begins to crack. I for one intend to trade in that unhappiness for that ultimate goal we all should strive for. To live, love, and die as one remarkable human being. Then and only then shall we achieve true immortality.
Now that's a person worthy of writing about.....
ReplyDeleteGratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.____John Milton
Gabe, once again you hit a home run! I was standing on the beach with you. I could hear the waves and see the clouds. I want a signed copy of your first book.
ReplyDelete